20th Birthday! (MTC Week 5)

MY BIRTHDAY! Wow what a zinger. So many loved ones sent me so many kindnesses!

Let me tell you what my district did for me. Sunday morning they presented me with a giant basket full of apples, oranges, and bananas that they had all passed to Hermana Knappen under the table at dinner on Saturday night so she could hide them in her backpack and sneak them out of the cafeteria. I was dying at how much fruit it was, and my companion was like, "watch she'll be through it in 3 days."...It took me 2 1/2. Also, Saturday, some elders asked, "So if you could have ANYTHING for your birthday, what would it be." I sat for a minute...then nodded confidently as I said, "probably just a cup of dirt with seeds in it for me to grow."

So Friday, I got this GORGEOUS bouquet of flowers and I just thought about how those were the perfect gift for me. You should have seen the snapdragons and delphiniums and the cute little mums and pink carnations.  I am just so grateful my family knows me so well. I would not have even thought up such a great idea.

 

I am leaving for Houston, Texas on Wednesday the 24th. We're pulling out of the MTC at 6 am, flying out at 9:40 am, and arriving in Texas at 1:40 Houston time.

The man who spoke to us on Sunday was named Brother Droubay and he is in charge of all of the LDS media everything. Right now he is doing HUGE I'm a Mormon campaigns in the big cities of the world Like New York and London. he had the coolest stories. For one, Right now in London, "The Book of Mormon" musical is playing. And they've bought a ton of buses that say "The Mormons are coming" to advertise. Well, the church planned this campaign before they even knew about the musical going there. And they bought a bunch of buses that say "I'm a Mormon" and show these inspiring messages and normal people. He showed us this really funny picture of two buses that happened to pull up one in front of the other in some big place in London. The first one said, "The Mormons are coming!" The second one said "I'm a Mormon!" with the mormon.org website. ahahaha. HOW AWESOME is that? Satan has real power over the hearts of men. But God's power just totally squashes him every time. And in a really funny way.

The speaker on our Tuesday devotional was Elder Richard G. Scott. That man is so gentle. He spoke about prayer and for me it was just such a tender experience. Since I came to the MTC prayer has become really dear to me, and he expressed in words the feelings I haven't quite been able to express about how tender it is that the Father who created my spirit, and planned for my earth life, has given me the gift of prayer. To be able to be completely transparent before Him, express all of my inadequacies and all my hopes and desires, and my desire to repent every day is the time I need to feel sustained. Prayer always fills me with the peace, assurance, deep, and constant love of my Father for me. It's the one-on-one interview I always crave and get to have every single day.  Something really cool happened at the end of his talk. but I want to express it the way hermana Knappen (one of my district friends here) did. Elder Scott is her favorite you see, so when she saw him here she just cried for joy, cried throughout his whole talk because she was so happy. Then when he finished and sat down, there was a tangible sorrow in the room. We didn't want it to be over. She thought of the Nephites when Jesus was going to leave them, how sad they must have been. How much LIGHT was in their hearts. She wrote down in her journal, "I wish he would say just a little more". After we sang the closing hymn, the sister got up to say the closing prayer and Elder Scott JUMPED up to stop her (faster than I have ever seen an apostle move) and said, "I just feel to pronounce one final blessing upon you" and then proceeded to give us, the missionaries of the church, the most beautiful, personal, blessing of God's love and confidence in us. That we would succeed, and unveil capacities in ourselves that we never knew we had.  Our hearts were filled with so much joy. It was overwhelming to think how the Nephites must have felt when Jesus looked at them, beheld their sorrow, and had compassion and stayed to bless them just a little more.

I have loved the MTC. I don't necessarily want to leave, but I am just too excited to share the gospel with REAL people to stay any longer. There are some major things I had to learn here before I was ready to go out though.

First, I had to learn that I am fully worthy and prepared to teach this message. God is with me, and I can recognize His presence.

Second, it has given me time to be still and away from all the voices of the world. I have come to know the Spirit much better. I love the quote from Heber C Kimball about how he is convinced that God is cheerful, jovial, good-humored because that is how he feels when he has God's spirit. The Spirit of God is happy and bright! not always heavy or emotional. Think of Joseph Smith, Gordon B. Hinckley, and Warren & Darrell Foote. These are men filled with God's spirit, and they are always the first to smile and crack a joke or two.

I have really appreciated the fact that we have teachers here who TELL us how to be successful missionaries. In the field it will just be me, my trainer, Preach My Gospel, and the Book of Mormon to study to try to find out how to improve ourselves. But God is with me. So dearly. Think of it! The same power that helped Peter walk on water and Moses part the Red Sea is the power that goes with me to Texas. God, our Father, has not called us to fail, but to succeed gloriously. And to seal us His. I have no other desire than that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Lift up your heart, and be glad!" (MTC week 4)

Well, since we're on the subject of birthdays.....mine happens to be on Sunday!

I do hope you will all enjoy April the 14th to its fullest and smell the flowers and look at the sky and tell 5 people e.x.a.c.t.l.y how much you love them. 

I am just so grateful to be part of this family. I can't believe the goodness of God in putting my spirit into the Carter home back in April of 1993. Each of you means so much to me. Each of you. So. Much.

And now for the weekly funnies:

 1. After lunch on Wednesday I was just wandering through the bookstore here, cruisin the merchandise (we are pretty hard up for entertainment) and glanced up and saw the zone leaders outside the door waiting for mail. I made brief eye contact with one and he winked at me! I was like, "whooaaa....what the" and he immediately turned bright red and was like "Hermana Carter I am so sorry! That was completely non-intentional, that was just instinct. I am soooo sorry...oh my goodness...oh gosh...I don't even know where that came from." Now the other elders won't let him live it down.

 

2. One day at lunch I approached our district's table and an elder looked up at me with his eyes full of remorse and he just practically whimpered, "hermana Carter, I have got to start eating like you. I weighed myself today. I've gained 7 pounds." I got so excited and just sat right down by him and said "Oh boy! This is what we're going to do!" and explained portion sizes and food groups, etc. He has since lost 5 pounds and is taking my advice to the extreme. He won't even eat ranch dressing on his salad! I've created a monster. But I overheard him telling one of the elders the other day, "Nope I can eat whatever I want for dinner because I had such a good lunch and hermana Carter says I can." hahaha.

 

3. It seems I have sort of become the mom/doctor of the district. Every night before laundry day, the hermanas bring all their clothes to me while I'm trying to write in my journal.

"Hermana Carter, what about this one? It says gentle cycle and like colors, but I just don't know..."

Me: yeah just put it in the gentlest cycle with all the other ones you're worried about and it will be fine. Don't dry it very long.

"Hermana Carter, can I wash my towel and my robe in the same cycle? It says they'd be fine but I just don't want to ruin them you know?"

Me: yeah just put them in the gentlest cycle with all the other ones you're worried about and they'll be fine. Don't dry them very long.

 "Hermana Carter what would happen if I ironed this?" "Hermana Carter I feel really sick..."

It's pretty entertaining. And makes me feel needed.

 

4. I ran into my old roommate Nadine Kawai, who is headed to Japan for her mission and she accidentally called me Rosie. I totally had a Lord of the Rings moment. "Rosie.....yes that was my name....Rosie Carter...They used to call me that. (followed by a self-satisfied chuckle.)"

 

Other than that, life is the same here! And when I say the same I mean that every day is a whirlwind of crazy learning and change still. There are hard days when I think, "oh boy. I cannot do this forever! And 18 months is pretty much forever!" But then I remember just to take it one day at a time. How can I be better today? What can I improve? And then it is just such a joy to work hard to become more and be happy to pray at the end of the day about what I learned and how I'm ready to go to sleep and face a new day tomorrow.

I found the COOLEST passage of scripture this week. Me encanta. I was reading in Moses (which has pretty much never happened before) and got to chapter 7:41-44. It is beautiful. God shows Enoch that the people are going to become so wicked that He is going to have to wipe them out via the flood. Only Noah and his family will survive. Enoch is so sad about it. "His heart swelled as wide as eternity" and he wept. filled with sorrow and bitterness he said to God, "I will refuse to be comforted." In my mind, I think he was doubting God's plan for us. He was saying, "I can't believe you would do this. I don't believe you love your children. How could you let so many grow wicked and then destroy them? I will not be happy. Nothing you do will comfort me."

And what was the Lord's response?

"Lift up your heart, and be glad; and look", followed by a vision of Jesus Christ himself coming to earth and atoning and dying so that we miniscule beings may be sanctified and have eternal life. What a tender, loving way to remind Enoch of His great love and mercy towards us. The entire possibility of our lives is based on His voluntary sacrifice. God is love. You can't understand love without knowing God, and You cannot understand God without experiencing love. No amount of tragedy in this life can outweigh the marvelous goodness of God, His desire to comfort you, and the miraculous power to have your grief swallowed up in Christ. Lift up your hearts and be glad! Because all you have to do is LOOK unto Him and you will have eternal life, and all the wonder that is included in that phrase, forever.

 

Only about 12 days more in the MTC! It's pretty incredible how I am witnessing the end of eternity here: once you're in the MTC your past life seems like....a past life, and you wonder if the future will ever hold anything different. Well! It does! And we're about to experience it. I'm not trunky yet though. I still love my classes and studies. I've enjoyed it here. I'm sure too that I will have these same feelings at the end of my mission on a much grander scale. Pretty crazy how each day lasts forever and every week just flies right on past.

Love you all like Grandma loves chocolate,

Hermana Carter

Easter (MTC week 3)

I have been wandering around the MTC breathing  in the hyacinths, tulips, lilies, and primroses, just WISHING you could see them. It is so colorful and vibrant.

Last Sunday was Easter, here at the MTC, it was such a wonderful day. Never have I had a more meaningful experience with the Sacrament. Every week should be just as meaningful, but due to my weaknesses I'm not always paying attention, or feeling as grateful as I should for the Savior's sacrifice. But just imagine sitting in a room of 3,000 people who have committed to officially take the name of the Savior upon themselves, even wearing His name tag, and spread the most glorious message this world can imagine: that He Lives! That He died so that all of us can return to God and have a chance at eternal progression and eternal joy with those we love most. Bishop Causse of the presiding bishopric came and presided at our Sacrament meeting and spoke to us. I thought that that might have been a tender mercy for Carolyn who was leaving to France the next day to hear his suave French accent. He spoke about President Mckonkie's final testimony: "I will not know then any more than I know now that Christ is my Savior" (not exact I know). It was an indescribable feeling to see 8-10 sacrament tables prepared, to feel the small sacrifice that my mission is for Him, and to know that I truly have begun a miraculous relationship with my Savior. To know that I really do know in my heart, because of the experiences I've had, that Jesus Christ is with me, that only through the enabling power of the Atonement am I lifted from my natural state to an ability to be like Him, and to really feel that His presence is beginning to be in my heart. He asked us, "Do you know Him? Do you know Jesus Christ?" Based on the small interactions I've had with Christ throughout my life and especially here over the last 3 weeks, my soul is just filled with so much joy to realize that my conversion to Him is going to continue to grow. He has provided ways for me to covenant with Him, tie myself to Him, to let His character fill my heart as I empty out my own selfish desires. The Plan of Salvation is incredible. I don't comprehend why He loved us so much. But it was consistent with His character to complete His perfection by expressing ultimate devotion and love for His Father by giving His life for us.

My favorite part of the week is Wednesdays. Why? Ice cream. The wrap bar turns into an ICE CREAM BAR complete with 12 flavors, hot caramel and fudge, and brownie toppings. (they have other toppings too but I don't notice them next to the brownies.) Why do I so look forward to ice cream day? Because 1) it is the only day I indulge my sugar cravings. No Melissa, I will not get fat. but boy do I make up for the other 6 days of the week when I eat my ice cream on Wednesdays. and 2) they serve ice cream to welcome in all the new missionaries. Do the new missionaries realize that ice cream is only served one day of the week? No. They do not realize this. Do they think I don't know they are scared spitless? yes they do think I don't know how they feel. Do I eat my ice cream with a smug grin on my face at the false promise of comfort and happiness said ice cream gives these new missionaries? yes. A super smug grin. It is the most uncharitable feeling that I have all week.

Spanish is continuing to be the most fun challenge I've ever accepted. I know I've said that I have really been blessed in learning it. But lest you think I am super fluent, just remember it's all relative. I'm learning it faster than many, though any native speaker generally can't understand me. I speak caveman Spanish. It's awesome though. I managed to crack a couple jokes in Spanish yesterday which is a super big measure of success to me. The best feeling is when I realize a fast Spanish sentence just came out of my mouth and I didn't have to split hairs over it first. My district is doing an English fast today--only speaking Spanish--and it has really helped me embrace how much Spanish I know and run with it. we learn so fast here due to the spirit. Even Espanol.

love,

hermana Carter