I never want to stop being a missionary!

 

This week I just keep having moments where we are walking or talking or doing whatever we normally do, and I think to myself, "I never want to stop being a missionary!" It isn't that I love Houston in particular, but I sure love being in the service of my fellow men. And that is what I am coming to realize is the best part. My mission is only training me to sacrifice and serve for the rest of my life. I never have to stop feeling this way! I think of Mom and Dad and the things they do every day that are just pure service, and I am so grateful for the years that lie ahead of me.

Some great things that happened this week:

Hermana Tu'i and I are really getting into the swing of being together. For example, we were knocking doors the other day. We see all the neighborhood black kids gathering to the community basketball court...there's about 40 of them.....with all sorts of sweet afro's and combs in their hair and stuff. So as we are just kind of standing there on the balcony, another kid walks past on his way to play bball, and I was like, "Hey! Are you gonna go chill out, max, relax, all cool?" and Hna Tu'i goes, "Do you spend MOST of your days on the playground?" And then we turn to each other and were like, "were you born AND raised in west philadelphia?" And then we just bent over laughing. He didn't hear any of it. But that is about how it goes out here in louetta west when we are too bored. I really enjoy being her companion. Except for when I remember I am just a straight-laced white girl still. Tongans are a lot of fun.

Also, we happened to notice one of our potential investigators outside the other day when we pulled up and  hurried and helped grab some groceries to carry in. Her house always smells like animals. When we asked if we could explain more about the church she explained how she really has no time, because she had to clean and cook and get everything ready to take to her husband's rancho for the weekend. I was like, "Excuse me? Did you say.....rancho?" and then she started talking about all the animals they have to take out to his ranch and beckoned towards the garage and we went and opened the door and it was FULL of cardboard boxes with chickens and chicks and little baby ducks with their mom duck. I am telling you, Heavenly Father never ceases to fill my days with tender mercies. She even let me feed them all when I explained to her that it wasn't actually service--I enjoy doing that kind of thing. She even offered me some eggs! Then I realized that she had incubators in her living room filled with eggs that are going to hatch soon. She said one day I could come out with her to help on the rancho. It is probably outside of the mission, but the fact that she offered makes me feel that I must have looked pretty good while feeding her chickens. After that I was super understanding that she didn't have time for the missionaries hahaha. We will definitely keep working with her. She likes us even more now!

I love being a missionary. I love this area so much. It is paradise. The ward is amazing. they are always asking us about our investigators, they drop everything to do service or go out with us, and they are completely oriented on missionary work. Yesterday in ward council we started planning the next ward activity: FREE MARRIAGE! by the bishop. hahahaha. yep. we are going to offer to all of our investigators a free marriage! It is quite the common problem here among the hispanic population. You are teaching people with 4-6 kids who have been together for 10-20 years and then you find out they aren't actually married. Sometimes they want to be married but the problem is that they have to get divorced from their first spouse in Mexico first! Other times they are like, "I can't get married to him! What if tomorrow when I wake up we don't love each other anymore?" hahaha. You've been loving him for 14 years......

It is teaching me a lot about commitment and that we are our own agents. If you truly want something, you will do it. There is no "I will try my best...." Do or do not. There is no try. I think a lot of times Satan blinds us to our own agency. People feel that they are victims of fate or that they have no control over the future. If you always want to be active in the church and gain eternal life, then keep your covenants everyday. By our simple, daily choices, we decide who we are and what we achieve.

Sure love all of you! I can feel the support of your prayers.

Also last night Carolina and Kaylyn invited us over for a BBQ with their cousins who are members of the ward, the Alvarenga family. We are talking Mexi BBQ. It was so good. And we were the special guests of honor simply because they love us. Also during the week Carolina and Kaylyn had a "girls night" during which they read a chapter from the book of mormon and watched "The Restoration". ! Doesn't that just make you so happy????

 

Humility

Time just keeps a-truckin here. The weeks fly by, and we keep doing our best to improve ourselves as missionaries and teach with the Spirit and help these people progress. I love this point on my mission because I am no longer so overwhelmed by the work. I understand how it goes, I have lots of experiences with teaching and with understanding how the Spirit works, and I feel much more capable of helping others. I remember one of the hardest parts of starting my mission was having so much desire to do good and be good and not feeling like I knew how to channel all that energy. But that experience has to come with time, so I can't say that I regret anything either. It is really nice to be able to feel like I have always done the best I could, even if "the best" was rather pitiful.

There are several families in this ward, active members, that I love so much. They are really feeling the fire of missionary work and are always asking to go out with us, giving us service opportunities, and inviting us to teach their friends. The other morning we were helping a sick member clean out her house with all of my favorite women, and as we sat talking and working together I felt like I was with Sister Jones and Welch and Mom, just being happy and serving. I wanted Mom to be there so bad and to meet all these women, and then it struck me how strange it will be that they won't be able to understand each other! If I can understand Spanish, you all can too right? It is just very strange to me that I have learned another language all of a sudden (after hours of study and frustration and hard work). Funny how hard things always seem so easy in hind-sight. I am so grateful for everything I have been able to learn so far on my mission, especially the chances I have had to develop Christlike attributes. Right now I am really working on humility, and it is such a joy. Why didn't anyone tell me it was so fun to be humble? haha. I learned this week that it's so much better to look at my mission (and life) as an opportunity to learn, rather than a test of my personal worthiness, and it has lightened so much stress and filled me with much more love. I am trying to ask everyone for help with everything, and because of that I am learning so much, making great friendships, and enjoying my mission much more.

My two investigators both received their baptismal interviews and are ready, but one is unsure if he will have to work Saturday, and the other for some reason just keeps wanting to wait. But the good news is, they are both ready. They have accepted the gospel, they have repented, they have desires to make covenants with God, and that is huge progress that I feel blessed to have seen in them. Hopefully, the first will be baptized on Saturday and hopefully when the other one sees that baptism he will follow in the next couple of weeks. It is really tender to see people open up to the Spirit in their lives. Their countenances truly change and we all feel an outpouring of Heavenly Father's love.

I can't think of many more things to say other than how much I love each of you. I am so grateful to have this time as a missionary. I will cherish my mission for the rest of my life. I will cherish these people as well.

 

Estephens

These are photos of the wedding. Me with Alexandra and her little boy Christian.

Also, A burrito at the taqueria norenita where the members get us free food. I don't think that picture captures the size. It is bigger than my face. Also, did I mention I know how to make flour tortillas. Next goal: tamales. That one is going to require a p-day.

The joke continues:

This week we were having a family home evening with one of the most amazing women I have met on my mission. She reactivated herself and actually just finally married her husband this week so that they are living the law of chastity and maybe soon he will be baptized. We are actually really excited about how much his desires are changing and how the gospel is becoming significant to him as he watches how his wife's decisions are blessing his life. Anyways, she is very strict about doing FHE exactly as it should be done: lesson AND games. So we were playing "Basta" Which is basically scattegories and we had to come up with a name that started with "E". They both speak English and Spanish so we just do it in whichever language we like. The name the wife chose for 'E' was "Stephen". We all were like "Stephen? Are you kidding?" And she was like, "No! Like that Disney channel show  Even Estephens!" hahahahahahaha.

Our area is still just doing awesome. Here are the updates: (I am not sure if I have even told you about all these people because time is so short each week, but they have pretty much been my life since October)

One husband & wife are both scheduled to be baptized on the 22nd of February, but both are a little hesitant about it: "Yeah let's set that as the goal but if I'm not ready then we can push it back!" And something ALWAYS prevents him  from coming to church. But we are trying really hard to help them both recognize the spirit, know what to expect as confirmations from the Spirit, make sure they keep progressing with their commitments, and make sure members are present at every possible lesson. Members are the way the Lord is hastening His work. It is incredible. The investigators progress so solidly and we have no worries about their true conversion when the members are there to share, testify, and be their friends. This ward is amazing because missionary work is their focus. Each member is so willing to go out with us and they are all getting real excited about inviting their friends to learn more.

Another investigator has received all the lessons, kept all the commitments, says she feels the Spirit the most in her life at church, and is fasting and praying to receive "her answer" from the Spirit. But I really hate that phrase because these people have all received their answer! The fact that she feels the Spirit the most at church is her answer! The fact that it all makes sense is her answer! Yet it seems like people need "something more" before they can commit and take a step in the dark. The biggest problem is that I don't think they can even define that "something more" for us. They just "aren't ready yet", they "Need to know more". So we spend a lot of time talking to people about faith, how the purpose of life is to learn so we will never know everything, how baptism is the DOOR to learning and how the gift of the spirit will accelerate their spiritual progress, and promising them all sorts of blessings for faith that I am so glad I know will truly come to pass.

My companion and I were also discussing this morning how people believe in God, they believe they trust in Him, and they always say "Primeramente Dios" (God first), yet they can't make the bridge between their belief in Him and acting according to their belief. They think that their belief in His existence is faith. But faith is acting on that belief. Faith is coming to church even when you have lots of work to do. It is reading in the Book of Mormon and asking if it is true even if you think you are satisfied. But life is demanding, and Satan has filled every nook and cranny with all sorts of ways to lose time. Time is one of the most precious resources Heavenly Father has given us, and a crucial factor of this probation we are living. I decided this morning that my greatest fear in returning from my mission is going back into the world of the Internet, and movies, and good hobbies, that can all be fun and good uses of time, but not the ESSENTIAL things I can do that will bring me and mine joy and eternal life. The two questions that are going to govern everything I do are "Is it bringing me closer to the Lord? Is it bringing me closer to my family?". If not, why am I doing it? All I want to do is love you guys and serve others for the rest of my life. I am so excited for a full life of love and service. Too excited. Sometimes-I-can't-sleep excited.

I love all of you so much. It still is hard to be away from you. But I know that any sorrow I feel now is going to be eternally compounded into joy that I cannot comprehend in the eternities with you!

Have a great week,

Hermana Carter

 

Espindle

 

I have so many different experiences and thoughts during the week. Writing home really is one of the hardest things.

 

I realized the other day that after this transfer I only have about 6 months left which just shook me to the core. I started to feel all trembly inside. I have loved my mission so much. And it has nothing to do with Texas. I could have been anywhere as long as I got to love these wonderful people that I love. The thing is, I couldn't have gone to El Salvador, Chile, Mexico, and Guatemala. They all had to come here! It is pretty tender to me to think how Heavenly Father puts us in each other's paths. We are teaching so many people right now who I feel I was meant to meet, so that we could have this precious experience of coming closer to God together. And they have all begun to recognize the truth, and one day they will accept the fulness of it, and I am just so glad for the little piece of time I have to do all I can to accelerate their acceptance of it and reception of the Holy Ghost.

This week has been just like all the others--full of miracles and tender mercies and lots of joy from serving others. I am learning to pray specifically for the things we need and then work as hard as I can to bring them to pass and then stand back and watch as Heavenly Father magnifies our efforts. It is amazingly simple when we call upon the Lord and His power. Our investigators are progressing just wonderfully. And I am learning patience every day. Sometimes when an investiator understands an important point or kept their commitment I get that feeling like I am at the bottom of the stairs and behind 3 kids on Christmas morning and I just want to pick them up and run for the baptismal font. :) But I take some deep breaths and remember where they're at and we keep going from there. Thank you for all your prayers.

This week we had some great finding experiences.

A couple days ago we met this darling 18 yr old girl who works in the pan dulce section of the michoacan (ok so it's just the bakery section of the Mexican grocery store but my mission sounds a lot more exotic that way). When we explained to her the story of the ancient people in the Americas and how they also knew about Jesus she freaked out and couldn't believe we would just give her a Book of Mormon. But then I wrote down her phone number wrong or something and we couldn't contact her! So we were knocking in the area later that week and decided to take a break to use the restroom in the michoacan. When we came out from the restroom we saw her running out the door. We chased after her as graciously as possible but couldn't catch her! WHY ooh WHY did we not see her sooner? SO then we prayed, and felt we should go back into the store. We meandered around, I decided to buy some pan dulce to give to the other hermanas in our ward. We mosied back over to the line. I saw the lady in front of me had a TON of stuff so I looked around to see if there were any other lines. Nope. Still just feeling down about missing Anna by a minute. As I paid for the pan dulce I came to my senses (finally listened to the Spirit) and quickly asked the lady in front of me if she needed help carrying all of her stuff out. She happily accepted which is rare for Hispanics and as we walked out together it turns out that her ENTIRE family in Honduras are members, but converted after she left 18 years ago, and right now her niece here in Houston has cancer and she would just really like us to come by and visit and explain more about God. It was amazing. And It was such a tender mercy of God to give me that experience in that way so that I didn't go home feeling that I had failed in catching the young woman. That is a thought from SATAN and I am getting real good at identifying them. We had our first lesson with her yesterday and she agreed to baptism and has a house full of other potential investigators.

Another Highlight: yesterday we taught this really scroogey man who has a lot of anger in general at life I think and when I was trying to explain the Spirit to him, I read galatians 5:22-23 and asked him if he had ever felt any of those.
 

"No."

"You've never felt love or joy or peace?"

"No."

My eyebrows went up and I gave him the, "Really, you don't want another tortilla?" look and he said, "Weeeelllllll I mean maybe a little from my mom and dad. But not for anyone else!"

It was pretty cool how sincere and earnest he was by the end of the lesson though. And how he said he has already noticed he has a lot less anger when he reads the Book of Mormon, and MAYBE it has to do with the book but probably it is something else but he'll still keep reading. hahahaa. Little stinker is about to find out the true meaning of love. His heart will grow 3 sizes.

Sorry I don't have time to write more today, just know how much I love each of you!

 

Love,

Hermana Carter

 

BTW I didn't explain the title of this post:

The woman we met at the michoacan gave us her address and I immediately went to look it up in our map when we were back in the car. I searched and searched for "Espindle" for 5 minutes before smacking my forehead and looked for "spindle" instead. hhahahaha. duh.