"Girls!"

 

Miracle of the week is this 17 year old girl who is a 100% ray of sunshine. We ran into her while walking to an appointment a couple of weeks ago. As soon as I saw her it was like my lungs filled up with happiness. I couldn't even talk to her because I was a little breathless. After I stumbled out some words and she gave me kind of a weird look she was like, "Okay...well....see you girls!" and walked off. And I was a little sad, but thought, "we'll see her again. Something big is going to happen with that girl." Then I heard her yelling, "Wait! Girls!" And we turned to see her running towards us. She asked us if we were in high school and explained that she just moved here and was wondering what the best high schools were. We immediately started chatting and talking about all the young women we know and how we could ask and get back to her and she started to get so excited, which I later found out is just how she is. She is constantly giggling and clapping her hands. So when we went to her apartment a few days later to "chat" some more, we ended up talking about our purpose as missionaries (who planned that?) and she talked about how she would really like to serve God one day and get closer to Him. We explained that that is pretty much what we do everyday; help people get closer to God. So she became really excited to receive the lessons.

Restoration went pretty great. She was excited, thought it was cool, LOVED the idea of praying to God even though she did it with a nervous giggle. After the lesson she opened up to us as she started to weep while spilling over about all she hopes from life and how her mother passed away when she was 5 and how she didn't know why she was telling us all of this.

The next time we saw her was one of the sweetest experiences of my life. We have this visual that my companion has been working on forever of the Plan of Salvation. We had an appointment set with a lady that day to teach The Plan, so in the morning we both took time to hurry and finish up the visual. When we got to her door, of course she didn't open it. Hermana Durham said, "Dang it. All that time I spent! I wanted to use it today!" But just like Carolyn said, when the Lord closes a door, he knocks out a wall. We decided to just drop by our new friends place and ended up teaching her the Plan of Happiness. She soaked it up. She said, "Ooohh this is like a bedtime story! I am at the edge of my seat! What is next?" She had a million questions.

When we got to the Spirit World, she asked, "So what happens to the people who never have the chance to learn or be baptized on the earth?" we felt prompted to go into more depth about temples and temple work and preaching the gospel to the dead. Usually when we first teach the plan we don't talk so much about being baptized for dead people in a special building that they aren't allowed to go into yet. It can scare people off. But her eyes got really big and she said, "Oooohh!! What information do you need to do it for them? Let me give you my mother's name!" Then she ripped off a magazine scrap and scribbled on it and thrust it at me. I said, " I would love to, but I think this is something you are going to do." Then she squealed and giggled and clapped her hands and exclaimed, "OK! How?? What do I have to do?" Then it was like she already knew the answer and she said,  "How soon can I be baptized??"

So she has a baptismal date set for 3 weeks. She came to church with us yesterday. When we met up after Young Womens (the lesson of course was on temples.) she was hugging them all and giggling and saying "Guess what?? I am going to go in 3 weeks! I'm going to get baptized!" And everyone was giggling and hugging in a big circle. It was like it was out of a movie.

The funniest part was that that morning at District meeting we practiced giving the baptismal invitation and resolving people's concerns about being baptized. So we went through all these awkward role plays with missionaries who were trying to be really difficult investigators. Then we all committed to extend the commitment to someone that day. In our lesson with Sandra I was just laughing to myself because she practically committed us to prepare her to be baptized within 3 weeks time. Best part: she has 6 older sisters with families of their own who are all very close and very mindful of her decisions. So I pray they all get sealed in the temple one day soon.

Sitting next to her in Sacrament was so wonderful. I felt so much at home and so happy. We were giggling to each other as a Hermana spoke for literally 50 minutes (which is very typical of Latino women) and the bishopric shifted uncomfortably while looking at the clock and finally gave her a note that must have told her to stop talking. When her husband got up to speak I thought he would shorten his talk, but I think instead he just sped up his Spanish. It was like listening to the little clip at the end of a TVcommercial. "Wearenotresponsibleforsideeffects....limitedtimeonly,restrictionsapply."

I love our sweet investigator. Man she is great. She always calls us "Girls!" and never stops smiling. She is happier than us, and we are the ones trying to bring her more happiness!

I love my area! It is the best! I am afraid I will have to leave it one day, which helps me to put my all into every day.

Learning and Changing

 

I learned and changed a lot this week (like every week.)

First, I got a new companion! Hermana Ashley Durham. We were in the same MTC district, so we already know each other pretty well and are really excited to be working together. I have already learned a ton from her about true humility--she is so unassuming and genuine--and also about listening with love and feeling all the sorrows and desires of the people we teach. Being her companion is going to make me such a better missionary.

We face some struggles now though. Being without my fluent trainer has made me realize just how much Spanish I do not know, and just how much I was letting all of the accountability rest on her shoulders. I definitely have felt a little stress this week, worrying about whether the work in our area will slow down simply because of my weaknesses. But let me tell you, the Lord is able to accomplish anything as long as we keep our hearts faithful and full of love. Having our weaknesses so apparent this week has only made it easier to see all that God and the Spirit do to help us throughout the day. I honestly have no explanation for why people invite us to come back after we garble some Spanish on their doorstep. But they do because we are striving to do all we can...which is basically just love each other and sacrifice and be obedient...and that makes us worthy of the Spirit and then people recognize God in our faces and in our words.

 Yesterday we ate dinner at the home of this wonderful, amazing family who converted about 4 years ago and now the husband is struggling to fight some old addictions that have come back. We sat at the table and ate and just tried to be good little girls, doing all we could to befriend them and invite the Spirit, and then the Spirit of God was able to take over. That man opened all the way up about his most tender desires but also the weaknesses he feels and bore strongest testimony of the Lord and his power to forgive. We did absolutely nothing except sit there and nod our heads and try to feel what he is feeling and then he and the Spirit and God were able to work out all of his problems. He is going to come to church next week with his stalwart wife and daughter and 3 little Chanchos.

I did experience some real heartbreak this week though. Our miracle investigator who has been bringing me so much joy the past 2 weeks. I think I told you about him last week. We have had some amazing lessons with him where we have seen how much a person can change because of the Book of Mormon. He got to Mosiah 4 in 4 days. All of you RM's know that that is pretty significant. Granted, he doesn't have a job and his mom cooks for him so he's got a lot of time, but still! anyways. Then Hermana Villanueva left. The next day we taught him the Word of Wisdom as best we could. He took it with his usual humor, but no coffee really threw him for a loop: "No Cafe?? Ay Senor!" We did the best we knew how to testify and explain and promise blessings and everything that Preach My Gospel says, and assured him that it was okay to take this step by step, Poco a poco. He said he was going to pray and study about it. The next day we were supposed to eat dinner with him and then he was going to come to a ward activity with us (which is a big deal since he is deathly afraid of entering a chapel "unclean".) But his mom got really sick, so that important spiritual opportunity fell through and he missed that needed buffer against Satan. The next day we planned to go visit him. On our way we saw him walking on the side of the road.  We pulled over to talk to him and as soon as he started talking it was like the spirit just flew away. He was practically yelling, saying that his mom got sick the same day Hermana Villanueva left and he takes it for a sign that he can't progress without her. That was a particular dagger to my heart because it confirmed all the fears Satan has been trying to send me regarding my ability to still help this area progress without my trainer.

He wouldn't quiet down or even allow us to talk. I was weeping and I couldn't stop and I didn't know why. All I can think is that it was because he was drunk and just being in an environment without the Spirit is something I am not used to anymore. So. My dear investigator demanded that we stop visiting him for an entire month.

But drunk people aren't very good at keeping track of dates. So I told him we're coming back on August 1st. Which is actually in about 10 days. It's not over. Oh no. The bishop's wife gave us two white shirts for him so that he can feel clean on the day he comes to church. And Heavenly Father will help us and help him as long as we keep our covenants and live as faithfully as we can. This great heartbreak only allows room for greater joy in the end.

Keep on having joy in every moment of the Journey! God is so good. And He loves us! So I don't know what there is to be worried or sad about.

P.S. Flautas are SO GOOD when cooked right. Don't worry. I'll make them for ya'll the second day I am home. No I don't say ya'll. ever.

Tatouine! Transfers on Thursday!

What a great week! Man. At the end of a transfer I always feel like I reach a whole new point of...missionaryness. I struggle and work all transfer and finally achieve a new level of being able to handle this. I have now reached LEVEL 2! Which is the equivalent of Tatouine in Pod Racer.

I feel like I finally reached higher altitude than the big cloud of confusion and darkness that comes with adjusting to the actual mission field. I feel like I can understand people's questions now and oh my goodness it is SO satisfying to hear myself explaining an answer in understandable Spanish! I now know how Spencer felt when he came home and had this habit of going into teaching mode with me and just explaining things really well and asking me questions for understanding. Once he exclaimed, "Oh man, I just LOVE teaching."

So it is nice to feel like I understand what is going on and can coherently handle myself in 60% of teaching encounters.

BUT, the biggest thing I learned this week is that we can do nothing in the process of converting people. We can prepare the most eloquent lessons or explain things in the most simple ways, but the only agents of change in their lives are the Spirit and the Book of Mormon. When our investigators actually understand the need to read the Book of Mormon to find out if the gospel is true and to come closer to God, they invite the Spirit into their lives ALL THE TIME. And then the Spirit changes them slowly and steadily everyday.

We started teaching this man this week. He is about 50.  We found him at our first taqueria hop and he was drunk (which I didn't realize until my companion told me later. I just went up and talked to him. I mean, everybody seems a little crazy to me when they're speaking Spanish a million miles an hour.) He gave us his address and phone number and let us come teach him because he felt something different around us, "the angels that God sent to change him". He is definitely not the kind of man you would pin as someone searching for the truth. He is never drunk when we teach him because "we deserve more respect than that" according to him.  The Spirit penetrated his heart, and he has taken seriously the commitment to read the book of Mormon. He reads about 5 chapters every day which is INCREDIBLE. And in the one week that we have known him he has become a completely different man. At one point during a lesson about The Plan and our purpose to become like God, he slammed his hands on the table and just started saying, "voy a cambiar. Voy a cambiar. Voy a cambiar!" (I am going to change) Louder and louder. I thought he was going to get on the table and start chanting it. He tells us he has to change slowly, little by little, but he is doing his part and the spirit is doing the rest. And it has nothing to do with us or what lesson we prepare. Just him and the spirit.

Have a wonderful week,

Hermana Carter

Fasting Backwards

Dear family,

Houston sunsets are the best. So are the sunrises which I get to see every single morning.

First, apparently I have been sleep talking in fluent Spanish which gives me hope because my conscious brain still hasn't been able to figure it out yet. Progress truly is gradual like everyone says but I am so grateful for how fun and quick my progress thus far has been.

The weather this week was really cool. We were only in the 90's! In fact today we are experiencing a "tropical rain storm". yeah. I live where those are. That was such a blessing. You people must be praying for me.

We were really excited for both investigators to come to church this week. They are all really sincere investigators and they have honest desires to come closer to God and make commitments. But every single week, Satan manages to throw a curveball at our investigators that is just enough to distract them from coming.  That's usually what happens, but we have high hopes for them. It is just sad to know them and their situation, know exactly how much God is able to bless them if they can just make it through the doors and start this journey, and not be able to do anything but invite them. We are studying and trying to find more inspired ways to help them get there.

But you know what? Disappointment does not have to lead to doubt. Yes, I feel devastated at times that they can't keep their commitments, but that only increases my commitment to help them come unto Christ. And in those moments of disappointment, if I choose to "fan the flame of my faith" (as Elder Holland says) rather than doubt that God is with us, I feel a steadiness in my heart, a reliance on God that brings me such happiness. Whatever heartaches come in life, I have a Father to rely on and He has provided gospel covenants for me so that I can weather it all with a deep lasting inner peace. And even find joy in the journey.

I would like to say how grateful I am for a family that is rooted in the gospel. For some reason on Sunday morning, homesickness smacked me upside the face again. Right when I think I've got it beat it just shows up again. I was so homesick, the real root of all this was probably just that I was "tired and fasting" as mom would say. When it was time to start studies, all I wanted to do was curl up and cry.  But at 8 am I got on my knees and I prayed for the strength just to sacrifice. To be a full-time missionary and not a fill-time missionary. To give all that I could for this one hour, and worry about the next hour after that.  I felt impressed to reread the advice letter Nate sent me my first week in the MTC ( in the same package as Mindy's delicious easter treats. The line that I was really drawn to said, "When these moments [of homesickness] come you will have to forget everything about yourself and home and just focus 100% on serving others." So that is what I did for the rest of the day. During Sacrament when this crazy craving just to see Dad laughing made my eyes fill up with tears, I pushed him right away and smiled and winked at the little girl sitting across the row. I complimented and encouraged and asked after how each family was doing, and was even able to joke around with many of the members. (One of the great blessings of understanding more Spanish is being able to build relationships with these wonderful people). I was filled with so much pure love for everyone. It was like fasting backwards! I actually felt more full--physically and spiritually--at 5:30 before breaking my fast than when I had started in the morning. I learned that when we serve selflessly and truly strive to do all that the Father asks of us, the natural consequence is that we have His power. My ability and desire to do the work increased. The mornings that I wake up the saddest are the opportunities I have to come home the happiest. I couldn't even fall asleep last night until about 12 because I was just so happy and my brain was still firing from it all.

I truly gained a testimony yesterday that a life of sacrifice is the happiest way to live. The transition from a self-focused life to missionary work a lot of times feels like maneuvering through Fat Man's misery, with gaps and mountains and chasms to cross, but I am so grateful for Heavenly Father who knows everything that I am trying to be, and sees all my efforts, and directs me towards that perfect day when I feel worthy to be in His presence. And I am grateful that I have you family, to lean on, or sometimes in slot canyons, step on, in order to work through it all.

Love you all a million times!

Esten con Dios,

Hermana Carter

111 degrees and inexplicable happiness

 

I can't believe June came and went. It is just gone. I hope July and August go that fast. Our car temperature gauge hit 111 degrees this week! I carry around little face-tissues and use them to wipe the sweat off my face all the time like Grandpa Carter used to do. Just pull the hankie out of the back pocket and do a quick once-over before someone opens the door. We love our air-conditioning, but what is amazing is that on the days when we get out and walk in order to find more people, Heavenly Father blesses us with the most inexplicable happiness. We look SOOO gross; we sweat rivers...I can feel the sweat going down my back while I'm trying to talk to people, it is SOOOOO hot, our feet get SOOOOO sore, but man we somehow just bounce around laughing and honestly feeling like we never want to stop being missionaries. It has nothing to do with us. When I come home, the sun will make me grumpy again. It is just Heavenly Father trying to help us be good missionaries. We developed this new method I call the Taqueria hop. I was trying to think where the best places would be to go in order to find crowds of hispanic people. And BAM. into my mind came the Taquerias that are on generally every corner. So during power hour we have been going from Taco stand to taco stand just inviting people to change their lives and repent. I mean, where are they going to go? Nope. Them and their tacos have to sit and listen to us and talk about their relationship with God and we are hoping to start seeing a lot of success in our finding.

You mentioned how Dad pointed out that it was through Heavenly Father's help that you were able to do everything. I agree 100% with him. I have come to see that more and more on my mission. I don't really believe it matters whether I am here or not--any of the other 70,000 missionaries in the world could come and teach the same lessons and love the people. When it comes to people being converted it is really just between them and God and has absolutely nothing to do with me. But God lets me be here and participate in His work to prepare me for eternal life and have the opportunity to share all the things I am so grateful that I know. It's like a reed on a clarinet. You have to change them out all the time. I am just the mouthpiece that extends the invitation to read the scriptures or explains a principle of the gospel, but any other old reed would do. God is everything, we are nothing. But He gives us these experiences for our joy.

I found out this week why a lot of main roads in Texas have FM before the name. Like FM 1960. Because it used to stand for Farm to Market. They were the only existing roads and they just went from the farm to the market...where else do you need to go? I thought that was pretty sweet.

 
Our investigators are doing SOOOO WELLL!!!!! Oh man I am so excited. We had an awesome lesson with the M. family where we brought the Bishop and his wife and read 2 Ne. 31 to explain the Gospel. We asked if they had thought any more about getting married. The husband is all for it, and it is the wife that is hesitant. When does THAT ever happen?? Usually we are teaching women who are dealing with abusive husbands or that have been abandoned, but hermano M. is such a wonderful man. So tender and loving towards his wife and daughters. I am so excited to see him get the priesthood one day. So they said that for sure they would be coming to church and they would work really hard on Saturday and sunday morning to get all their chores done to get to church on time. you have to understand what a sacrifice that is. They work full-time, until late into the evenings every single day except Sunday and use Sunday to do the mandatory things to be able to keep going through the week--grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc. So when Sacrament meeting rolled around, they weren't there yet. We called them and they said they just hadn't been able to quite finish it, but asked if they could still come to the rest of church. They arrived just in time for 3rd hour and since it was the 5th sunday, the lesson was taught by the Bishop and it was all about the Family Proclamation. EXACTLY what they needed to hear. Hermano M. was just nodding his head the WHOLE time while keeping his youngest daughter entertained, and Hermana M. was just soaking it all in. Not only are they progressing so fast, but they brought their sister-in-law with them. THey are already doing missionary work! I love them so much.

Our other top investigator is the funny man who offered us pizza. The guy is on fire. What I mean by that is that we don't have to push and pull and drag him along the strait and narrow path. He is running all by himself. Every lesson he just floods us with questions. he came to an activity the ward had about ordinances where we went on a progressive journey from room to room talking about faith, repentance, baptism, and the Spirit. We finished by watching the clip from the Testaments where Christ comes to the Americas. When they turned the lights back on he looked at us like, "Wow! Can you believe that?" And there were tears running down his face. He was like, "What? We're not going to watch the whole movie?" So we dropped a copy off last night and he watched it last night. He is just so...quick. About everything. He physically moves like an antelope, his brain fires off a thousand thoughts at the same time, and he is learning everything really fast. We have to slow him down sometimes because he asks REALLY deep questions and we're like, "You have to walk before you run. Just worry about building your faith right now." hahah. He didn't make it to church yesterday because of work unexpectedly popping up (Satan. I hate that guy.) But he is sincere so we're not worried about losing him.

Spiritual thought of the weak:

1 Nefi 2:1 :Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to ^atake away thy ^blife.

When I read that I started to laugh. I mean, does it sound ironic to anyone else? "Good job Lehi. You did what I commanded you and because you have been so faithful, people are going to kill you...and I'm going to call you into the wilderness where you will experience some of the greatest trials of your life."
And I realized something about faith. As our faith increases because of our righteous decisions, our capacity to handle trials increases as well. So as we strive to obey God and increase our faith, everything just gets harder. We think to ourselves, "man, I must be so weak. Everything feels so hard. My faith must not be really strong." But really it is BECAUSE our faith is strong and growing stronger that God sees fit to bless us with challenges that will continue to strengthen us. So if things continue to get harder in your life, if you feel like you are plunging even farther into the unknown and darkness, take heart. It is not because God is displeased with you or has abandoned you. It is because He thinks you are so incredibly faithful that you can handle a bit more of a trial. You will seek to follow Him even when the way is uncertain. You are doing much better than you think you are.

I love my mission more everyday as I actually understand what these Hispaniards are saying to me, as I get more comfortable with the routine, and as I learn how I can be more effective. Time is going by way too fast. But still, when I think about you, I YEARN to be with you again. and I can't wait for that day.

All my heart and a couple taquitos,

Hermana Carter